O’ Tumblr (a parody of Hellfire)
Sung by Codot
Community Guidelines, you know I am a righteous man,
of my content I am justly proud,
Community Guidelines, you know I’m so much purer than,
the filthy child porn producing crowd.
Then tell me, O Tumblr, why the whole of us must pay,
Why the porno bots can’t be controlled?
I see them, I block them, their posts no longer linger there,
So why are we the ones that you must scold?
O Tumblr! Damn Tumblr! The Tumblr that had been,
Would never allow this! Why purge my harmless sin?
It’s not our fault! We’re not to blame!
It is the Russian bots and monsters who should pay!
It’s not our fault! You made a plan!
Where women’s nipples are more hunted than the Klan!
Protect us, O Tumblr,
Don’t just become an Apple drone,
Don’t let monopoly control your mind.
Don’t punish creators,
Or we will find another home,
Where we come first and aren’t left behind.
GUARD: Waiting4Codot, your post has been flagged.
GUARD: The puppies were mistakes for female-presenting nipples.
CODOT: But how? Nevermind. Get out you idiot. I’ll find a better website if I
have to burn down all the internet.
Oh Tumblr! Damn’d Tumblr! Now staff the time has come,
Choose us the creators, or see your site undone.
Please just reconsider,
Staff have mercy on me,
Let Tumblr be ours or it will burn!
And yes, I know that, as a voice actor, I won’t be IMMEDIATELY affected, but a LOT of my friends will be, and that frustrates me. Also, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a horrendous audio post and (given their current behaviour) they wouldn’t even police audio; they’d just get rid of it.
Numbered days, folks.